I’m a very nice person, but lately, I’ve been getting really mean with my boyfriend. I don’t know why, because he’s always been good to me and we have a great relationship. He’s never done anything wrong or hurtful towards me and yet I get so mad at him.
It just happens all the time. I’m not sure what to do about it. Should I try to talk to him about it? Or should I just let it go? I feel like if I say something, it’ll make things worse. But then again, maybe he needs to hear that I’m upset too. What should I do?
In this article, I will be giving an extensive guide on how to go about why you are mean to your boyfriend, why you can’t stop being mean, and how to stop being mean to your boyfriend. Please carefully read and follow all the given tips on the subject matter.
10 Reasons You’re Being Mean To Your Boyfriend
Want to know why you are so mean to your boyfriend? Here are 10 possible reasons for your behavior, plus advice on how to stop.
1 – You’re feeling needy or insecure and need reassurance from someone else. If this is the case, it might help to remember that no one else is perfect either. And sometimes people do act in ways they regret later. So perhaps instead of focusing on others’ faults, concentrate on your own.
2 – You feel threatened by his closeness. When a man gets close to you, he may be trying to protect himself against rejection. Because there are some women who will reject a man without giving any reason.
In order to avoid such an outcome, men tend to distance themselves emotionally, physically, or both to reduce their chances of failure. This is especially true if he feels that you would be rejecting him.
By acting cold toward him, you are telling him “You aren’t good enough!” and he could misinterpret your actions as rejection. If you want to keep him close, give him more positive attention.
3 – You’re jealous. Jealousy isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but when jealousy becomes extreme, it can become unhealthy.
If you find yourself constantly thinking negatively about another woman and criticizing her whenever she does something nice for you, you need to examine your feelings and figure out whether you actually possess a legitimate claim to her affection.
Perhaps you’re putting way too much emphasis on the other woman, your relationship with her, or your past experiences. Think about what makes you jealous and take steps to reduce those feelings. If you still feel jealous, seek professional counseling.
4 – You hate yourself and believe that your flaws are intolerable. If you constantly criticize yourself, it’s likely that you also see your imperfections in everyone else. This is self-loathing, which is not healthy. Focus on your strengths, and appreciate the qualities unique to each individual.
5 – You feel rejected. As long as you maintain a loving, respectful relationship with your partner, he doesn’t have to worry about losing you to anyone else.
There are many women who love men more than they love themselves–and who don’t realize that until they meet a man who loves them back! Keep reminding yourself that you’re a wonderful person, and don’t allow yourself to think otherwise.
6 – You’re angry and frustrated. Anger can easily turn into a rage when you aren’t aware of it. And frustration often leads to anger. Try to remain calm and levelheaded during these times. Take deep breaths, listen to music, and focus on your breathing.
Don’t let your emotions control you. If you really get upset over a particular incident or topic of conversation, ask yourself, ‘What would I say if I were in his position?’ Then try to imagine what your response would be, and use that information to guide your next action.
7 – You are using sex to manipulate your significant other. Sex should never be used as a weapon. It’s only intended for two purposes: pleasure and procreation.
However, if you choose to share your body with someone because you want something from him, then you’re being manipulative. You’ll probably find that you’re happier when you stop manipulating him and start following his lead instead.
8 – You expect too much from your partner. A lot of people get married expecting things that just won’t happen. Maybe they marry someone who lives at home full time or expects them to work and support all his needs financially. Either one of those situations is unrealistic.
If you want your partner to be able to provide for you, you must help prepare him to do so. Be patient and understanding, and show confidence in your ability to change your situation. Give him the freedom to make mistakes, and give him a little room to grow.
9 – Your partner is controlling. When we’re in relationships, we learn how to adapt to our partners’ personalities and behaviors. But sometimes, we fail to recognize our own behavior as controlling.
We can either accept this type of behavior as normal, or we can fight against it by refusing to play the game. If your partner exhibits any of the signs below, it may indicate that he wants to control your life.
He could even be trying to force you to live up to some idealized version of yourself that he thinks you ought to have.
Recognize when your partner is setting limits and boundaries for your own good, and don’t let him dictate whom you spend your free time with, where you go, or what you do. Instead, decide for yourself what you need to do to take care of yourself.
10 – Your partner has an addiction. No matter how hard you try, it will be impossible to eliminate every trace of your ex-lover from your mind. This isn’t healthy for your emotional well-being. It also makes it difficult to move forward in your new relationship. The best thing you can do is to be honest with yourself.
Are there certain behaviors or habits of yours that remind you of your ex-partner? Is there anything about him that still makes you feel uncomfortable? Perhaps you think you might become attached again.
All of these thoughts are natural, but they shouldn’t prevent you from moving on. So before you jump back into bed with him, talk through your feelings with someone close to you.
Remember, true love doesn’t make us weak; it strengthens us, making us more resilient when dealing with past hurts.
How To Stop Being Mean To My Boyfriend
You don’t have to be mean to your boyfriend. In fact, you shouldn’t even talk bad about him. Instead, try to focus on improving yourself instead.
If you want to improve your personality, here are 7 ways to stop being mean to your boyfriend.
1 – Don’t nag. There are times when you need to speak up, but if you keep talking over him, he’ll eventually tune out. Instead, focus on listening to what he says.
Then, ask questions. Try not to interrupt him unless he stops speaking first.
Also, don’t look down on him for his lack of knowledge or opinions. Let him speak until he finishes. Once he’s done, then you can say something.
2 – Take responsibility for your actions. Sometimes, your boyfriend feels like you only pay attention to your problems rather than helping him fix them.
If you’re really upset about something, tell him how upset you are. Ask him if he agrees with you, and if he does, he should listen carefully to your point of view.
Then, take action to solve the problem. For example, if your boyfriend constantly criticizes you, tell him how much you hate hearing that kind of feedback. Make sure he understands that you want to change things, but you won’t do anything without his help.
3 – Always remember happy moments. Even though it’s easy to let negative emotions get the better of you, remember all those positive experiences you had with your partner. You can use these memories to fuel your optimism and courage.
Think of a time when he was sweet to you, generous with you, or supportive. Maybe you were able to laugh together at embarrassing situations or celebrate small victories.
Focus on these memories whenever you start feeling discouraged. They’ll remind you of all the reasons why you chose to stay in the relationship.
4 – Keep an open mind. If you think you already have everything figured out, you probably don’t realize just how little you know. If you’ve ever been involved in a romantic relationship, you know that everyone has their own ideas and points of view.
That’s why you must always respect each other’s opinion. When you disagree with your partner, you may not understand where he comes from or why he thinks the way he does.
But, as long as you both agree about one thing (i.e., you love each other), you needn’t worry too much about his opinions.
5 – Listen to your instincts. Most people who date often find themselves attracted to people who aren’t right for them.
As soon as you sense that you might be getting closer to someone you shouldn’t be spending time with, take heed and put some distance between you and the person.
Of course, this advice isn’t meant for everyone. If you’d prefer to stick around, follow your heart.
6 – Be patient. One of the most important qualities you can develop in your relationship is patience. If you want to avoid being controlled by your feelings, then you must learn to control yourself.
After all, you could turn into an emotional wreck every time your boyfriend makes a mistake. To make matters worse, you will also likely become frustrated and angry. By acting calmly and patiently, however, you will give him the chance to reflect on his mistakes and correct them.
7 – Know when to end the relationship. It sounds weird, but sometimes you need to leave even if you still care for your partner. If you feel as if your partner doesn’t appreciate your efforts, then you should stop trying to please him.
Remember, dating is supposed to be fun! If you spend your entire life struggling to keep a relationship going, then you’ll never enjoy what you have now. So, be honest and direct and tell your guy how you feel.
If he promises to work on himself, then you should trust him and wait until he proves himself worthy of your time and affection again.
In conclusion, being nice to your boyfriend means being kind and understanding towards him. Try to look past any past problems and focus on the future. Don’t forget to treat him like a friend and try to see things from his perspective.
Finally, be willing to forgive his faults because they only prove how much he cares for you.
Hopefully, after reading this article, you’ll be able to go back to being friends with your boyfriend. And, hopefully, he’ll do the same for you.